racing

Inexplicably fervent
My heart races with the rush
along with the fragments of thoughts
of you
perhaps i can affix myself
to steadier ground
perhaps i can
lose control
another time
perhaps i can
stop the undeniable tension
that distracts me from everyday life
a temporary lapse of memory
that causes me to
stop myself from doing the everyday
perhaps i can resist the futile existence
that i call my life...
will you help me with this conundrum?
i often wonder the
many instances of "perhaps" in this
so-called existence
we once called my life
I should stop this now
while i can
constantly i find myself
staring into the nothingness like the steady post
that remains steadfast amidst the change
where is the solace that i once had...
let me stop from thinking
let me stop from living